I have eaten a cookie.
See, the words don’t do it justice. I don’t eat cookies, and I generally stick to small portions of food, and have been on a diet since 1977, essentially. So when I say I have eaten a cookie, it should be read with the same announcer voice in which one hears ads for monster truck rallies:
WEDNESDAY! WEDNESDAY! WEDNESDAY! I HAVE EATEN…A COOKIE!
Fortunately, it was a delicious oatmeal cookie with raisins and a light cinnamon flavor and quite moist and I hardly even regret it very much, though I wish I hadn’t drunk the SlimFast first.