Tata: We’d looked at fridges and settled on a Hotpoint 17 cu. ft. as a good size/shape for the basement. At Home Depot: $434, with rebates and delivery: $404 plus some change. Hotpoint may be evil, but it’s possibly less evil than Whirlpool, and Home Depot is still on my Merde List.

Siobhan: It took you six months to Google a washing machine, so I’m impressed with your improved shopping ability.

Tata: After you and I talked yesterday, I went home, Pete and I developed a good head of steam and drove over to Derby, which is local and I’d rather buy local. The guy there seemed kind of hostile. I said we were interested in the Hotpoint 17 cu. ft. and Home Depot was selling them for $404 delivered. Three times, I said this. Three times, he said Derby would start at $479 + $60 delivery + taxes, and there’s no way Home Depot was selling this model for that price. I said, “We saw it with our own eyes.” Three times, he essentially called me a liar, so we left. Derby was also selling Girl Scout Cookies, so Pete was sorry to leave.

Siobhan: A case of those qualifies as groceries.

Tata: At Sears, we found a GE Energy Star 18 cu. ft. For $479 + delivery charge + warranty – rebates + tax and could not get a clear picture from the salesman of the price, and it couldn’t be delivered until the 14th. GE is of course evil, but I need a fridge. I came very close to saying, “Fine. Whatever.” Then I didn’t so much change my mind as not commit and the salesman disappeared. We saw three car wrecks in a space of two miles, which NEVER happens.

Siobhan: I’m starting to know how that feels.

Tata: Pete and I drove over to the Home Depot in Milltown, where when we walked in the front door, there stood the GE Energy Star 18 cu. ft. model with a long series of discounts on a sales tag. Bottom line: $331. With tax, it turned out to be $353 + change, delivered Saturday. And that guy at Derby can kiss my entire ass.

Say, isn’t this a blog called Poor Impulse Control, which title is like uber-swiped from a novel predicting a terrible, fucked up future? Well, not if you’ve seen my table manners, but what’s this then?

Important characters

Y.T. (“Yours Truly”)
A 15-year-old skateboard “Kourier” who helps Hiro investigate the mysterious meta-virus. She is Hiro’s “partner” in information-gathering for the Central Intelligence Corporation. Her real name is never stated, though she is alluded to in a later book by Stephenson, The Diamond Age. Like all Kouriers, she uses an electromagnetic harpoon to hitch a ride from (often-unwilling) motor vehicles, such as Hiro’s. Though she does not carry any lethal weapons, all Kouriers are outfitted with a wide variety of defensive countermeasures, which Y.T. uses throughout the book to escape sticky situations. Her mother is a worn-down programmer for the irrelevant Federal Government; Stephenson satirizes American bureaucracy (in particular, the real-life Code of Federal Regulations) via a multi-page memo on intra-office toilet paper policies which good employees are expected to spend 15.62 minutes reading.

Toilet paper policies? What? Help us, Newark Mayor Corey Booker:

Newark city employees may have to start carrying a roll of Charmin’s [sic] to work.

Mayor Cory Booker says the city can no longer afford to buy toilet paper.

Who knew the terrible, fucked up future would also be embarrassing?