I have a cup of coffee, and thank your favorite deity it’s spoon-melting strong. At work, I find a message on my voicemail. Because it’s probably work-related I wait two days to listen to it. Upon hearing the caller’s voice, I immediately commence heckling.

Ivan: I’m driving around –
Tata: …drinking Stolichnaya from a sippy cup…
Ivan: – and, yes, I’m driving and talking on the phone –
Tata: …can’t truncate no attention span…
Ivan: I saw a bumper sticker that reminded me of you –
Tata: “Life’s a bitch. Then you marry one.” Ah, redneck humor!
Ivan: It said, “I play the accordian. And I vote.”
Tata: [Rendered speechless.]
Ivan: Love ya, baby! ‘Bye bye!