Quick! Press pause on the video below. We’ve got to TAWK.

I have been watching the ABC soaps for decades with love and loathing. Sometimes they’ve truly sucked out loud, but there have also been moments of genius. This is not one of those.

Last week, this video prefaced each of the ABCsoaps on Soapnet for at least two days, and it was hyped for at least a week in advance. One Life to Live recently ran an often accidentally hilarious three-day musical extravaganza that highlighted one of life’s painful truths: a lot more people think they can sing than can. Trouble is always afoot, however, when people around the can’t-singers quit blabbing the truth and someone strikes up the autotune.

Go ahead. Press play on that video now, because there’s more to talk about besides your rattling dentalwork.

See, I don’t care if someone else can’t sing, but I care a great deal when someone’s made assumptions about me. This video assumes that when I look at people, I expect to see white faces. In this video, with a cast of about a dozen and a half, there’s one Latino and not a single Black person. Wait, what? Don’t the casts of those three shows include people of color? They often do. Sometimes. If you’re paying attention you can tell the writers lose interest in Black characters on a regular basis, but to set up this video and fail to include even a single Black cast member cannot be an accident.

ABC, you suck. I don’t know where you live, but where I live, I expect to look up from a bento box in a public place and see a sea of faces ranging from palest white to darkest brown and that’s normal. I notice shit like this. You assumed I believe whiteness is normal. Screw you, by the way, for thinking so little of me.

Plus, seriously, in this video, even the people who can sing can’t sing. Nothing gets out of production without committees signing off. How did you not notice?