Topaz well knows the fresh hell that is having two sisters.
La famiglia has been scheming to get us all to Disney for my fiftieth birthday. That is fine with me, so long as no one expects me to turn up, too. I was reminded of Brendan Behan.
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
The whole notion has made me cranky and teeth-gnashy. Grrr.
Poor Impulse Control 
Oh dear, I’m so sorry. Don’t you get a vote? Like for Paris?
Or, if that’s too high-end, how about New Orleans, instead of a bad imitation of it with cartoon characters instead of booze?
Or: I could stay home and be happy. I could!