All the Rooms They Smell Like Diesel

Poor little buzz-buzz thing  with little x's over its eyes. We believe our blind kitten caught it and brought us presies.

Poor little buzz-buzz thing with little x’s over its eyes. We believe our blind kitten caught it and brought us presies.

The Seaside Pier is burning down tonight. All eyes are on the weather map and rain should arrive within the hour.

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I Like Toast And Jam

Mom called and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and finally, I said, “Okay, Mom. Pete and I will go pick figs.” As I hung up the phone, I immediately forgot about this until after dinner, when the sun was setting. Pete put on his shoes and we took credit cards and ID, in case we were also getting arrested. We drove over to Mom’s house in the dark. Pete brought two flashlights. I brought a colander and lefthanded scissors, because the hometown police would know that – obviously – no one brings lefthanded scissors to a B & E.

The fig tree is as tall as I am, about seven feet wide, with branches low to the ground. I have no attention span, so trying to judge the ripeness of each and every fig was tricky. Pete has even less of an attention span, so he must’ve said, “Look at that one!” half a dozen times, which might’ve been charming if it didn’t leave me totally in the dark. But then his cell rang when I was about one-third of the way around the tree and he put the flashlights under his arm to tell whoever it was that he couldn’t talk. My lefthanded scissors were sticky by then and definitely had my fingerprints on them and no one would have believed we had a terrible fig-picking accident, so Pete remained unstabbed. Naturally, there was no time tonight to write a churlish blog post. You get this picture from our bike ride through Colonial Park on Sunday, where we rode bikes over a Walk Bikes Over Bridge-bridge because: rebels! somewhere in East Millstone that runs into Amwell Road. I was good and lost then; now I have figs. Bon appetit!

It's idyllic, right? Wish I had a sandwich.

It’s idyllic, right? Wish I had a sandwich.

The Whole Damn Bus Is Cheering And

This jaw-dropping construction project has proceeded slowly, but that's okay, since no matter how many times you see this, it still seems like a hallucination as yet unsure about casting the part of the elephant.

This jaw-dropping construction project has proceeded slowly, but that’s okay, since no matter how many times you see this, it still seems like a hallucination as yet unsure about casting the part of the elephant.

It is a construction company in the same way bears are sometimes bipeds.

It is a construction company in the same way bears are sometimes bipeds.

Proof that disco did not die, but lived and seeks revenge.

Proof that disco did not die, but lived and seeks revenge.

Dreams May Toss And Turn You Now

Siobhan and I had an eye-opening bad day with animal rescue people who – we believed – were lying to us. This is different from the rescue agencies I’ve dealt with and bizarre. For Siobhan, it was heartbreaking, which made me see red.

Meet Tippi, formerly Darla, our current adorable kitten. Her birthday is in December. We hope we will survive to see it.

Meet Tippi, formerly Darla, our current adorable kitten. Her birthday is in December. We hope we will survive to see it.

How do I get those gatekeeping do-gooders out of the way and get what I want?