Gods Who Are Any More Vengeful

Between the Republican debate and the Tea Party debacle, I wondered when someone on television would turn to the camera and say, “This, friends, is what genuine crazytalk sounds like. This goes beyond requiring medication; it is so far gone that I’m going to ask you not to make eye contact with this herd of thundering bewilderbeests in the hope that we can get the studio audience safely out of the building. Hush. No sudden moves, please. Audience, please make your way to the fire exits and, for fuck’s sake, don’t look back.”

The more no one turns to the camera and sternly declares crazytalk is a danger to us, the greater that danger becomes. I hope you have BandAids and First Aid Cream. It would not be too much to strap on a helmet.

In the old days, before we tried bombing Afghanistan back into a Stone Age it never left, you might’ve pictured Wolf Blitzer falling on this grenade. In 2011, you hope Blitzer doesn’t feed you to the bewilderbeests. He would, you know. Bewilderbeests have teeth, and Blitzer fears anything sharp, like Ron Paul. Think I’m kidding? Ron Paul is so prickly you could cut yourself on his chitinous shell and Blitzer will have none of it!

Wolf Blitzer is concerned.

Seeing this – and this guy – I don’t really know what to say anymore. The statements have become so outlandish it can be difficult to recognize the genuine danger belied by the cartoony talk. Abolish Social Security? Saying something that stupid should disqualify a person from holding public office. Raise the Medicare age? Should be cause for a public inquiry into which pets and children that guy’s abusing. Cut Medicaid? Elderly people should spit on that public speaker. War without end? Please accept this plane ticket to the Hague on behalf of sane people everywhere. Cut food stamps and defund poverty relief programs? Excuse me, there’s a Mr. Jesus to speak with you. He looks upset. Hurry. He’s got a 4:30 with some bankers.

A Man Afraid Has No Shame

I had to work up the nerve to watch this video. Of course, I live in Jersey and stuff blowing up is kind of – well – normal, but even so, I was not sure I was prepared for what I might see. Turns out the explosion itself is rather banal now that we’ve all watched the Mythbusters blow up non-dairy creamer just for kicks.

CNN’s Larry Kudlow may have the money quote for this terrible -even horrible – disaster:

“The human toll here,” he declared, “looks to be much worse than the economic toll and we can be grateful for that.”

Larry – I will be calling him Larry because I’m too freaking lazy to type That Vomitrocious Ghoul over and over – has long forgotten the Heroes of Chernobyl, who saved Europe. That story wasn’t widely reported in the West and not at all until much later. Granted, it’s hard to remember history when this is the morning’s news.

About 2,000 bodies found on coast of Japan’s Miyagi-Kyodo

March 14 (Reuters) – About 2,000 bodies were found on Monday on two shores of Miyagi prefecture in northeast Japan following last week’s massive earthquake and tsunami, Kyodo news agency reported.

That’s the entire news report. This human toll is not Larry’s problem. In fact, even as explosions continue to rock the imploding reactors, you can expect Larry to segue neatly into what investors are doing in three, two, one…

There’s No Reason Why I Heard That

This is a fucking execution.

See it. Know it. The little kick after the poor guy drops dead is a nice touch. It’s done in our names.

In related news, the motherfucker who gave us the Department of Homeland Security and paramilitary cops finally answers for his perfidious perfidy.

Senator Joseph I. Lieberman will announce on Wednesday that he will not seek a fifth term, according to a person he told of his decision. Mr. Lieberman, whose term is up in 2012, chose to retire rather than risk being defeated, said the person, who spoke to the senator on Tuesday.

“I don’t think he wanted to go out feet first,” the person said.

And speaking of feet first, the King of Doctor-Killers just keeps coming back.

Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, will announce Thursday that he will challenge President Barack Obama in the 2012 Democratic primaries.

Terry is perhaps best known to Floridians for his role as the spokesman for Terri Schiavo’s parents and for his challenge of state Sen. Jim King in the Republican primary in 2006.

“My constituency is the millions of pro-life[sic – and I mean that./Ed.] advocates who want to make child-killing illegal from conception until birth,” said Terry on Tuesday. “My base is those who know that we must show Americans the victims of abortion, in order to restore the full protection of law to unborn babies.”

Terry, who has backed graphic ads of abortion procedures before, hopes to run ads during the 2012 NFL playoff games, including the Super Bowl.

“America has never truly debated child-killing, because America has never truly seen child-killing,” insisted Terry. “We will use FEC and FCC laws for federal candidates to bring America face-to-face with this massacre of the innocents.”

I am exhausted by the effort of everyday living and this authoritarian, misogynistic, blindly zealous douche bounces back year after year like a particularly dickish superball. Meanwhile, my sister, surrounded by family members who have had abortions, squawks, “Roe v. Wade will never be overturned” and votes Republican. Frankly, I’ve had enough of the stupid and determined.

Dear Furry Overlords,

I do not belong on this planet, and your fur is boss.


And Give Young Sally Some Room

Via every-freaking-body on the intertoobz, but in this case from Crooks & Liars:

Nicole Belle:

Rep. Tom Price (R-GA), one of the GOP’s minions, continues the Joe Wilsonification of Congress to prevent discussion over Stupak’s amendment, one that may actually lead to effectively a ban on abortion for low income women:

“The real goal of abortion opponents isn’t to maintain the status quo. It’s to extend federal prohibitions into private pocketbooks. By restricting coverage offered through the exchange, they hope to make abortion coverage so unattractive that insurers eventually stop offering it in the market for individual and small-group policies.”

And they don’t even want us to discuss it. Those white men of the GOP don’t want women to insert their remarks into the record.

Kind of makes you long for the day genuine leftists barged into Rotary Club meetings squawking “Property is theft!” and “Are you done with that cheese platter?” It is important to remember that each one of these censorious, shouting motherfuckers would run crying to Fox News if anyone did this to them. Almost no one does, except their own cohorts. Ask Lindsey Graham.

I was inches from losing my mind watching this vomitrociousness when a great, great thing happened:

the Bedlam Rovers’ 1990 CD Frothing Green landed in my mailbox. I went from hopping mad to jumping for joy in seconds flat. The band stayed at my house when they passed through New Jersey a zillion years ago and I was hopelessly, droolingly starstruck every time. It’s a little embarrassing to remember, but when the CD played tonight, none of that mattered. I love these songs. They’ve aged beautifully; their politics are more relevant now than ever before. It’s even good to recognize that I learned a lot from meeting the band. For instance: genuine socialist health care would be good for everyone and everything, except the careers of corporate water carriers, who no longer even suffer the pretense of democratic process.

It’s not easy to dance when I’m this testy.

Crushing A Fly With A Volkswagen: Head Like A Hole Edition

I really, really hate reading these stories. From Feministing, which credits Women of Color Blog with finding this:

School security guards in Palmdale, CA have been caught on camera assaulting a 16-year-old girl and breaking her arm after she spilled some cake during lunch and left some crumbs on the floor after cleaning it up.

The incident occurred last week at Knight High School in Palmdale and was caught on a cell phone camera by another pupil who was then also assaulted by the security guards.

Watch video of the incident here.

The girl, Pleajhai Mervin, told Fox News LA that she was bumped while queuing for lunch and dropped the cake. After being ordered to clean it up and then re-clean the spot three times, she attempted to leave the area out of embarrassment but was jumped on by security who forced her onto a table, breaking her wrist in the process.

Pleajhai also says that the security guard in the picture yelled “hold still nappy-head” at her, which at the time she did not know was a racist comment.

Watch the video. I’ll wait.

You back? Great. Kids tell you half a story – everyone knows they make shitty witnesses. But now you’re a witness. What did you see?

If that girl were Miss Sasha, no power on earth would prevent me from doing what Pleajhai’s mother did: confronting the cowering school administration.

But it gets worse. When the girl’s mother went to the school to complain and rightfully demand that this guard be arrested – she was arrested and suspended from her job with the school district.

Students at the scene captured the assault on their cell phones; one such student was also beaten.

This is a particularly eggregious example of “You Act Your Age While I Act Like A Big Baby.” I’m a peaceful person these days. You’d be visiting me on Sundays once a month.

There is just no excuse for arresting kindergarteners for bringing scissors to school or tasering eight-year-olds or asking girls about their periods. Yet, again and again we have school administrators and security guards – almost always men – treating children like armed combatants. It is inexcusable. I don’t mean, “Well, maybe there was a reason and what about this and that…” No. No hemming and hawing. No excuses. No compromise. No “It’s for their own safety” bullshit. No.

Grownups are so scared they think CHILDREN are the enemy. What happened to this girl could happen to your children. She’s not demon spawn who deserved a beating. She’s a girl, like your daughter. She’s got an arrest record for dropping cake. And there’s nothing except the slimmest grasp on common sense and vast, messy litigation preventing what happened from happening again.

I can’t wait for a time when authoritarian punk-asses will be shown the inside of a jail cell, and even more so the authoritarian punk-asses who prey on the defenseless, like children.