Category Archives: our furry overlords

To Ease Your Pain Free Your Mind

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Cats insist I'd feel better if I rolled in this like catnip.

Believe it or not, cats are alarmed when you cough up a furball. Which you might. I mean, you could. No matter how many times your cat friends have themselves coughed up a sticky goober, you should expect them to scatter if you offer noisy, gurgly hints you might do the same.

I shudder to think of it, myself.

Cats will also be alarmed if you buy presents online without free shipping. When the package arrives at your house, cats somehow know you paid retail plus shipping and everyone knows retail is for suckers. Cats, as everyone knows, love boxes. If you place a box on the floor that once held something purchased at retail cost, cats will scoff at this box. At this very moment, Topaz is hunkered down in a box marked HOT LEATHERS.COM, while Drusy circles and waits for her chance to sit in the box. Another box, halfway packed, rests on the floor near the dining room table, but the cats don’t care for it. I have a cup of soothing mint tea. For the moment, everyone is quiet. Everyone is listening.

Back To Where We Started From

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Georg's friend sent a box of lovely yarns for cat blankets. She is full of awesome!

After some weeks of mental hopscotch and febrile free-thinkery, I may be ready for the attentions of medical professionals, which is doomed to fail hilariously, and will be completely ready to start a new project within days. Coincidentally, a box arrived from precincts most northern and Georg-related, filled with beautiful yarns. I’ve cast on a new cat blanket and I’m fixin’ to knit up comfort for companionless felines. Yee haw!

As I said, if my lungs still hurt tomorrow night, I’m making a doctor appointment. That never ends well. I will encourage Pete to bring a video camera, because why should you miss out?

Admit you doubted me: I did it!

Today, the anti-hunger project at work concluded its donation phase. Tomorrow, co-workers on both sides of that river we never quit yapping about will ship me full boxes I will empty and sort. It’s a long story, but the ostensibly philanthropic bitches running this project feel free to sabotage it. How’s that for a personality profile? A little shaggy around the affect?

Anyway, I’m hoping to quit coughing soon and quit doubling over soon and quit knitting with my eyes closed soon. I’m hoping to snap on rubber gloves and sort boxes and put that behind us soon. Dudes, I’ve been sick for three weeks and I’m sick of being sick.

Someone please ship me an immune system!

Jump Into A Brand New Skin

Posted by Tata on

You would not think so, but this tower of cat blankets is so athletic this is my only no-action photo.

Weeks ago, I volunteered for a task at work: acting as liaison between the library system and a hunger project at the unnamed university. The very moment I agreed to do it, the old pointless stage fright kicked in. I’d send out an email to a hundred people I’ve known for 20 years and try not to hork up lunch. I called a meeting and wore clogs in case I needed a quick place to yak. When a group of my co-workers refused to work and play well with others, I went full-metal queasy YOU BITCHES ARE NOT MY FRIENDS. As of today, the project is launched and the donation process has begun. The angry phone calls are so last week. Peace has come in our time. I’m so relieved I could toss my waffles.

I used to wonder why biographies of great thinkers and artists almost always start with an adult period of inspired productivity followed by one of wandering in the wilderness and another of mature work that isn’t flashy and feels dull compared with all that fiery, youthful noise, but I understand it now. I think about the same things, but I think a whole lot less about myself. Yesterday, I sashayed out of the house without makeup and even moisturizer because I forgot about me, which is fine because as art critics go I am a stone bitch and embarrassed to be seen with me.

These cat blankets are Topaz Approved!

The town we live in is so small that one’s presence or absence may be easily observed. Last spring, I marched over to the senior/youth center to volunteer at the food pantry. Sometimes lots of people turned out; sometimes there were three adults and three toddlers to do the shelving. When the weather cooled off recently I had some trouble being on my feet and missed a Wednesday night, which did not go unnoticed. Ah well. If I were stable, you and I would never have met in that bar in Singapore.

I’ve been knitting cat blankets since April. These are just about ready to send out, hopefully early next week. I’m knitting Pete a little wool scarf with the exciting footnote that I am allergic to wool. Part of the hunger project is giving families assigned to our departments winter warmth. I am thinking about making a rather dull but reasonably warm baby blanket, though thinking about it makes me want to hork.

Her Face At First Just

Posted by Tata on

I’m jarring applesauce, while Topaz stares at me.

The vet says her weight is up and her symptoms have subsided for the time being, though I was prepared for news about surgeries and special diets.

My house is peaceful, and Topaz sang all afternoon.

Tomorrow, I’ll go back to work, but my heart’s not in it.

I’m very, very tired. Topaz blinks gently, gently, gently.

Bright Red Drop Dead Nails

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Last time I tried stuffing Topaz into a closed room to protect her it took half an hour and Topaz clawed me in the eye. I was covered with scrapes; Topaz, Pete and I whimpered and cursed. We didn’t speak to one another for several days – and I do mean all three of us.

Tomorrow morning, Topaz has an appointment with the vet, which means I have to stuff her into a cat carrier. I started hyperventilating yesterday, but I’d been worried for a week, and I do mean varsity level, paralyzing, stocking-up-on-Neosporin-and-bandages worried. Is it too soon to don my helmet?