What the fuck is this?

Rehab is not glamorous. Rehab is what happens when you’ve been drunk since the baby was born and the social worker is losing her patience and the waiting list is so long you pour yourself into the bottle and someone in your family has thousands of dollars he or she spends several times over. Rehab is no picnic, no day at the beach, no walk in the park, baby. Rehab means you need new friends, a new job and a new place to live because you’ve fucked up so badly you need a court-ordered time out. Rehab is a dreaded ordeal and not a beauty treatment. So I thought.

Thank Christ Bioré, Paris, Lindsay, and Britney have set me straight.

Pete and I just came back from the feared, loathed and loved Somerset Diner, where Sixty Minutes was on five or six giant flat screen TVs, muted, with closed captioning scrolling down the page at an energetic clip. Thing was: the transcriptonist must’ve been Welsh or Israeli or something where vowels were optional and word breaks were created with delicious whimsy. The result was – and I hope you saw this at home – gibberish. I looked up a few times and came within inches of inhaling french fries, which would have made me miserable because those french fries were really good. In any case, Wall Street is melting down, and anyone still advocating deregulation and socialized losses for the rich deserves not a promotion but a turn at public humiliation.

Fortunately – did I mention it? – Sixty Minutes was on, Scott Pelley’s an absolute moron, and there was public humiliation for viewer, interviewer and candidate alike.

Jill breaks out some very exciting numbers that should make every person earning a paycheck sweat. Get ready to dab:

Many of us pay the employee share of our medical premiums with pre-tax dollars so that our taxable income is lowered by the amount of our premiums. If McCain wanted to stop this practice alone, that would be bad enough. But it goes beyond that. His “health care plan” would also treat the employer share of your health insurance premium as income on which you would pay taxes.

I just received my COBRA statement from my previous employer. The premium on my health plan from said employer is just over $1100/month for family coverage. When I was employed, I paid about $300 of that per month. Under John McCain’s plan, that approximately $13,000 cost of the health insurance plan would become taxable income.

Let’s say you are single, and your taxable income after deductions and exemptions is $32,000/year — not an unreasonable assumption for many working Americans who do not live in major metropolitan areas. Under John McCain’s “health plan”, your taxable income, if you had this insurance plan, would now be $45,000. So instead of paying about $4400 in Federal income tax in the 15% bracket (10% of the first $8025 and 15% of the rest, so his actual tax percentage is 13.75%), you would now be in the 25% bracket, and your Federal income tax liability would be $7594 (25% of the amount over $32,550 plus $4,481.25).

Now let’s take a higher-paid worker with the same plan; say, someone with a taxable income of $150,000/year. He’s currently paying $35,978 in Federal income tax (24% as an actual tax percentage. Under John McCain’s “health plan”, his taxable income is now $163,000. He just manages to squeak in under the $164,550 limit to the 28% bracket, so he isn’t bumped into a higher tax bracket. His Federal income tax is now $39,618 — a jump of $3640.

McCain’s “health plan” proposes giving these workers a $2500 tax credit to “help pay for the cost of health care”, which drops the tax increase on the $32,000 worker to $694. But that worker is still paying 2.1% more in taxes because the cost of the plan is now counted as part of income. For the $150,000 worker, this credit drops the tax increase to $1140 – an 0.7% tax increase.

So John McCain’s “health plan” is really nothing more than a huge tax increase on the middle class. The higher your income, the less of a tax bite you receive from having your health insurance premiums counted as income.

And that’s assuming your employer decides to keep providing health insurance.

This is about as important as an issue gets. I’m in a relatively secure situation and for me, this would mean choosing between health insurance and eating. I can’t imagine what it would mean to retirees on fixed incomes – or worse: I can imagine. We cannot allow this to happen.

Please read the whole thing.

Faster than I can hope to respond come things requiring responses. Some of these things are political, some not. I can’t write letters fast enough to suit myself, and sometimes I stop. Friday morning, I lay down on the couch and couldn’t get up until just about lunchtime. That’s okay, I was just watching Drusy stand on three legs and scratch the back of her head and I couldn’t do that, either.

It’s Sunday night. I believe the fever’s passed. What’d I miss?

One, two, three, four –
tell the people what she wore!

What we are, what we aren’t, who and how that happened. A turned ankle, a border incursion. The waving of the spear and the crashing of the wave. You are nothing, you are nothing, you dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight, which you forget when you wear the red shoes. The snap of bone as the machine rolls this way. All that is important and serious in this world arrives, brighter than a thousand suns. All she wanted was the quiet of the shoe store, or so you believed. But it’s too late now.

Neatorama:

The bomb will not start a chain-reaction in the water converting it all to gas and letting the ships on all the oceans drop down to the bottom. It will not blow out the bottom of the sea and let all the water run down the hole. It will not destroy gravity. I am not an atomic playboy, as one of my critics labeled me, exploding these bombs to satisfy my personal whim.

– Vice Admiral William “Spike” Blandy

That’s “Atomic Playboy” Vice Admiral William “Spike” Blandy, his wife (in the matching hat!), and Rear Admiral F.J. Lowry, celebrating the end of Operation Crossroads in 1946 with an ominously shaped cake. The photograph, titled “Atomic Age Angel Food” drew heavy criticism from around the world, presumably not because it wasn’t delicious.

Operation Crossroads [wiki] was a series of nuclear weapon tests, conducted by the United States in the Bikini Atoll, to study the effects of thermonuclear
explosion on warships.

Two weeks later, French fashion designer Louis Réard trademarked the name “bikini” for his latest swimwear collection. Bikini became famous shortly afterwards, because “like the bomb, the bikini is small and devastating” and the realization that “atom bombs reduce everybody to primitive costume.”

This guy in my office who is young enough to say something stupid to me now and then just said that the Olympic medal count was important because it gives us bragging rights. “It doesn’t,” I said, “I’m pretty sure I have nothing to say because I didn’t get up early and run a single lap.”

He said, “It’s the sports mentality! Aren’t you proud of your country?”

I said, “I come from a different sport. Every pushup I did I did for me. Not you.”

He said again, “It’s the sports mentality!” like it wasn’t stupid the first time. “What sport?”

I said, “I spent most of my athletic life involved with gymnastics, which teaches you you act for yourself.” What I didn’t say is that gymnastics schools talk big talk about team sports but they don’t really give a shit so long as their stars are going great guns, which means they’ll win anyway. Mostly. It’s complicated –

“Don’t you want to see your team win?”

“No.” I took a breath because I knew he wouldn’t understand: “I want to see each gymnast performing the best routines of his or her life and I don’t care who wins.”

So we talked about the mysteries of scoring, some of which I grasp. He walked away thinking, I’m sure, that professional sports with tribal identities are the only ones, and that I just don’t get it. I do get it, and I know that he is invested in his tribal identity to such a degree that he claims credit for the work of others.

Once, I visited friends in Wisconsin. We did what people do: we sat in a bar, talking. One guy said, “So, you’re from New Jersey. A Jets fan!”

“No,” I said. I was trying really hard to be nice. “I’m from New Jersey.”

“A Giants fan?” he asked, wide-eyed.

“No,” I said again. “I’m just from New Jersey.” When I refused to identify with a tribal structure he understood he didn’t understand. I felt a little bad about it. I was wearing a red sequinned dress, fishnets and combat boots and his wife was nice to me anyhow.

It’s tempting to remind the Guy With Guy Friends in my office that I was the only girl in the weight room in the seventies before he was born, that women athletes are real athletes, that individual accomplishments are seldom achieved without Mom and Dad getting up at 4 a.m. for long drives to the rink, the pool or the gym for decades on end and WE had nothing to do with it. In fact, if we had any contact with that kind of dedication, WE would probably regard it with scorn, because in real life, WE don’t believe anyone is that special and that person is not being realistic. So WE say, and I would tell him all this if I thought he would hear it, but I know better.

I know better because WE think that, even at 45, even in 2008, I am just a girl and girls don’t get sports.

Comedienne Paula Poundstone had an excellent bit about kittens. I can’t do it justice myself, so I’ll humbly paraphrase: Sometimes we’re proud of the wrong thing. My cat climbs the curtains. I don’t want her to do that, but she’s way up at the top. When she’s way up there, what does she say? “Mom! Mom! I’m up sooooo high!”

This protester, whose zen-like white middle class obliviousness has been disrupted by high oil prices, an uppity Negro with the gall to run for high office and Italian lettuce, is digging her adorable kitty claws into the curtain rod.

Via Dependable Renegade.

Oh fuck this shit sideways:

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) – Women’s rights groups and the state Attorney General’s Office are preparing to challenge a judge’s ruling that determined it’s too easy to get a restraining order in New Jersey.

It’s on my To-Do list: get a manicure, have the dog waxed, file for a restraining order. You want to do lunch? I could rearrange a few things.

Although the numbers have declined over the past five years, about 40,000 domestic violence complaints are filed annually in New Jersey. From those, roughly 30,000 temporary restraining orders are issued, with most of the rest withdrawn by the accuser. Nearly 80 percent of the complaints are filed by women.

The recent ruling by a Hudson County judge, however, threatens to make it more difficult for victims to prove they have been beaten or threatened and could scuttle the state’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act.

State Superior Court Judge Francis B. Schultz found that some elements of the 17-year-old law are unconstitutional. Among them: a low threshold of evidence _ just a “preponderance” _ to get a restraining order violates due process protections. Instead, judges need “clear and convincing” evidence to issue a restraining order, Schultz said.

[Sic] and very sick. In fact, with all that spinning, vertigo is almost inevitable.

In New Jersey, about 9,000 people bring criminal charges each year that a restraining order has been violated, sometimes with tragic results.

For example, prosecutors in Essex County have charged Kenneth Duckett with murdering his estranged wife, Monica Paul, by shooting her to death in front of one of their children at the Montclair YMCA on June 26. The couple had separated in August, and Paul obtained a temporary restraining order in October. It was made final later that month, according to prosecutors.

Bruce Eden, civil rights director for the state chapter of Dads Against Discrimination, contended that such cases are rare, and that a majority of domestic violence complaints involve no physical contact. Complaints can be filed for making threats.

He applauded Schultz’ decision. “This will make it more difficult for false allegations,” Eden said.

I wonder if I could projectile-vomit all the way to Bruce Eden’s house. It would have to be a record of some kind. Who’s with me? Eat something chunky!

Michael Argen, president of the New Jersey Council for Children’s Rights, said that a parent will not get custody of children once a restraining order is issued.

“If this ruling continues, it would help truly battered people more, because it would limit the resources that are being used on truly frivolous cases,” Argen said.

I’m thinking gravity’s a little weak at Argen’s house. Either that or he’s confused by pesky words like homicide and manslaughter when they apply to women.

Schultz also found the law violated the New Jersey Constitution’s separation of powers mandate because the Legislature usurped the state Supreme Court’s role by dictating court procedures, including what to consider in setting bail.

“If it’s allowed to stand, it certainly would be a significant problem for victims of domestic violence,” said Sandy Clark, associate director of the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women.

“They are typically the only witnesses to the abuse. So to have to show by clear and convincing standard would certainly be challenging,” Clark said.

She considers New Jersey’s law among the best in the country, since it provides restraining orders of indefinite length, along with mandatory training for police and judges. Other states have tougher standards to obtain restraining orders, she said.

Prosecutors are also alarmed at what would happen if the ruling stands.

“You’re going to have a chilling effect. That’s the bottom line,” said Deputy Chief Assistant Essex County Prosecutor Debra Cannella, who led the office’s domestic violence unit for 11 years.

“We’re very concerned about this because elevating the standard of proof will make it more difficult for victims of domestic violence who desperately need relief,” Cannella said. “The next time that victim is assaulted, they may not come back to court because there were rebuffed.”

The victim might not come back to court next time because she’s inconveniently dead, but that’s less important than a legislative pissing match.

Hey, girl: once again, your rights take a beating. Do us all a favor and take it like a man.

Sometimes, I feel like I’ve lost my mind. CNN:

Catcalling – creepy or a compliment?

Catcalling a compliment? I’m fucking speechless.

“I call it street abuse,” says New York City filmmaker Maggie Hadleigh-West, 49. “It’s unwanted attention and invasion of space.”

In her 1998 documentary “War Zone,” Hadleigh-West confronted catcallers and filmed their responses. Many of the men literally ran away to avoid talking to her about why they whistled or made a provocative comment. The Department of Defense has used the film since 2002 to train branches of the military about issues surrounding sexual harassment and sexism in general, she says.

“Being in a public space with a strange man who is being sexually aggressive is potentially dangerous,” Hadleigh-West adds.

On the other hand, some women appreciate the attention in certain cases, like Jessica, a 31-year-old health-care educator in Los Angeles, who declined to use her last name to protect her privacy. “Yeah, it’s objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn’t have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I’d think, ‘Boy I must really be getting old and dumpy,'” she says.

Oh fuck you, just fuck you, collaborator. And while we’re at it, just fuck you for making it a little harder for everyone else. Besides that, fuck you. Guess I’m not totally speechless.

According to existing studies and her own findings, [researcher Holly] Kearl says, some men are simply ignorant about how their behavior is perceived. Kearl, who completed her thesis, “Direct Action, Education, Consciousness-Raising, Activism and the Internet: Methods for Combating Street Harassment,” last year, thinks posting on Web sites like HollaBackNYC is preferable to resorting to anger and violence.

“A lot of men have no idea that women don’t like being talked to in this way,” she says. “It never crosses their mind, and yelling doesn’t educate them. If you yell, they often don’t understand why you are upset and so they take it personally.”

Often, Kearl says, an assertive, clear response can illicit a kinder reaction than one expects.

“A lot of the time, I find guys will just say, ‘Oh, okay, I didn’t realize it made you feel that way. Thanks.'”

Men don’t know what? That women don’t like feeling afraid for their safety in public spaces? Of course, men know that. Men who catcall count on it. In two thousand-goddamn-eight, to say that men don’t understand the power imbalance that permits them to behave this way is to infantilize and excuse abusers and rapists, so fuck you, too. Fuck CNN for running that fucking headline on that fucked-up article. Fuck that writer for presenting a “balanced” picture of misogyny. I mean, fuck that.

That’s enough. I’m going to go drink something decaffeinated and try not to picture myself saying the same thing ten years from now, when douchebags still act surprised that women are human beings.