Larry, the little black cat bent on stealing your soul, menaces you from the new apartment’s living room floor. You are terrified! He commands it!
Daria’s funniest when she’s exhausted and depressed.
Tata: The funniest thing was when I came to visit you in Virginia and we and about a dozen of your drunkest friends went skinnydipping in the reservoir and then the police came to arrest us so we ran away but I’d lost my shoes and the reservoir was surrounded by spiny vines so one of your drunkest friends carried me down the side but he kept dropping me and falling down and the next day we asked Daddy if he would’ve bailed us out and he said, “No, I drink that water.”
Daria: No, the funniest thing was at the top of the hill, I asked you, “Where are your shoes?” and you said, “I lost them,” and at the bottom of the hill, I asked, “Where are your shoes?” and you said, “No, I really lost them.”
Tata: No, the funniest thing is we’re allergic to the same things, so I drove home and started itching and the next day I was covered with poison ivy and after that it got worse and became the worst case of poison ivy I’ve ever had and, like, my co-workers bought me Aveeno baths and it was the hottest summer in history and I lived in an unairconditioned house so every time I broke a sweat the rash spread. So I called you and I didn’t even say, “Hello!” because you were working in the industrial kitchen. I said, “How bad is it?”
Daria: No, the funniest thing happened about two years later, when a bunch of the same people went up to the reservoir again. There was one girl there who would say anything to anybody. So she’s hiding in some bushes with someone else and the police point flashlights at them. The police are like, “Hey! What are you doing?” so she says –
Here, Daria’s enunciation becomes consonant-heavy and specific.
Daria: – “We’re being still, and quiet, like bunnies.”
Tata: What happened? The cops give them carrots?
Daria: Nah, they said, “Get over here, crazy people, you’re under arrest.”