Then You Exploded Into My Heart

Saturday, my sinuses opened like a dam burst, flooding a tiny desert town with moist hankies and snot. Oh, the humidity! I thought allergies were my problem and acted accordingly: I sneezed a lot and apologized. Yesterday, when the sneezing stopped, the aches, the sore throat and fatigue began. About 4 this morning, I woke up and couldn’t swallow. I hardly know what to say about that, sports fans. Most of the time, I prefer natural cures to medicines, but when my throat was so sore I was trying not to use it to breathe, I nearly hacked the childproof cap off the NyQuil. Here, while I doze a bit, read this intriguing bedtime story.

Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZ snort! Cough cough! What? I should wake up and watch daytime TV. There some folk wisdom suggesting I have no hope of feeling better without fluids and hours of daytime television to combat this plague. My co-worker took pity on me and sent this.

Watch out for this scam! READ CAREFULLY!

I don’t how many of you shop at Sam’s Club or Costco, but this may be useful to know. I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping, and I am sure it could happen to you! Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 23-year-old well-built guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs exposed. It’s impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to another Sam’s Club or Costco.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you! While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!

I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday and also yesterday and most likely again tomorrow!

It’s got to be the NyQuil straight up in a festive martini glass, but my heart feels light for the first time in a long time. Either I have a fever or it must be love.

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One response to “Then You Exploded Into My Heart

  1. Pingback: Promote the General Welfare And Secure the Blessings Of | Poor Impulse Control

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