Part III. I sit down at the table next to Theresa, Dom’s girlfriend. Dom, Sharkey, Dom’s housemate and a high school friend all troop upstairs to smoke after dinner. By the time I arrive, I couldn’t care less about food. Theresa’s still eating. I got myself a small bowl of rice and pork.
Theresa: You’re not hungry? You must be hungry.
Tata: No, no, thanks, this is plenty! I was getting ready to leave the house when my sister called because she’s got some hideous conglomeration of plagues in Flemington and the baby’s stranded in Somerset.
Theresa: You can’t overlook that. What did you do?
Tata: I spent three weeks in the store, delivered bags of groceries to the babysitter’s house and looked at the baby. I thought she was going to take out the pacifier and shout, “IT SURE TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!” They are raising a princess, they are.
Theresa: You only called about an hour ago, maybe a little more.
Tata: What? It seems like weeks. And I look awful!
Theresa: You do not!
Tata: You shameless flatterer! My horoscope says I get someone new and significant this week. Last time it said that, I got Sharkey.
Theresa: Wow, he’s really important.
Tata: Absolutely, I couldn’t live without him. And I figured out what I’ve been doing wrong with men. I dress nicely and gussy up and then they meet the tired, overworked me later, which is backwards. If they like me this way, they’ll LOVE me later. There’s no place to go from here but UP.
Theresa: Omigod, I never thought of it that way.
Tata: Exactly. I don’t want to go around looking better than I do first thing in the morning. Ooh, and I’m only going to date men with bad eyesight. Because I’m only going to age, and they’ll think I’m glamorously backlit.
After about 45 minutes, I went home before 8, having explained the yogurt and fruit. The broccoli and cauliflower were not, in fact, overdone, which was a fucking miracle. I was so exhausted I went to bed early.
Section 1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. But this article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President when this article was proposed by the Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this article becomes operative from holding the office of President or acting as President during the remainder of such term.
Section 2. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several states within seven years from the date of its submission to the states by the Congress.
This morning, the alarm clock was blinking. I called work and said I was on my way. As I walked under the old trees, I laughed and felt the green leaves, the yellow leaves, the red leaves, the brown leaves and wind-broken branches as if each were mine and mine alone.
Everything amuses me today.