We Always Liked Picasso Anyway

It can be difficult to tell the difference between fiction and fact, fantasy and reality. Wait, that’s backward. When I saw that even the third time, I screamed a little. Somewhere, that this is real. So let’s fantasize a little.

Amendment XXV
Section 1. In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President.

Section 2. Whenever there is a vacancy in the office of the Vice President, the President shall nominate a Vice President who shall take office upon confirmation by a majority vote of both Houses of Congress.

Section 3. Whenever the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that he is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, and until he transmits to them a written declaration to the contrary, such powers and duties shall be discharged by the Vice President as Acting President.

Section 4. Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

Thereafter, when the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that no inability exists, he shall resume the powers and duties of his office unless the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive department or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit within four days to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shall decide the issue, assembling within forty-eight hours for that purpose if not in session. If the Congress, within twenty-one days after receipt of the latter written declaration, or, if Congress is not in session, within twenty-one days after Congress is required to assemble, determines by two-thirds vote of both Houses that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall continue to discharge the same as Acting President; otherwise, the President shall resume the powers and duties of his office.

I saw it, as if in a (cue: harp players – strum! strum!) dweam… except this happened last night.

Tata: I’m WHAT?
Anya: Wearing a costume. We’re wearing costumes. We’ll be handing out samples of this stuff and at the toy store, we’re having an event with Mr. Ray* and…
Tata: I’m WHAT?
Anya: Dressing up. My mother decided to come as Annie Hall. I have a witch costume. The kids are all dressed up anyway. It’s going to be a blast!

This morning, I emailed Siobhan. She could hear the growling sixty miles away.

Tata: Guess what?
Siobhan: Monkeys are actually flying out of your butt?
Tata: Close! Anya told me I’m wearing a costume to the store on Saturday and you know what? I’m going to. Know why? Because MY LITTLE SISTER IS THE BOSS OF ME.

As she had recently worked for her own family and made a similar discovery, it was quite some time before Siobhan could breathe.

*UPDATE: Mary called in a panic.

Mary: Is Mr. Ray coming to the store this weekend?
Tata: DON’T YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO TAKE THE WORD OF A MORON LIKE ME? You should call the store and ask a grownup!
Mary: What’s the number?

I Googled it, because I don’t actually work there and even though it’s my family and all I can’t remember phone numbers for 50% of my sisters. Mary emailed back immediately. This is merely a step below the two-tin-cans-and-string arrangement to which we aspire.

Mary: Alrighty Madge, here’s the scoop, Mr. Ray will be hangin’ at [the toy store] on Black Friday for a CD signing. I remained anonymous throughout the phone call so I can neither confirm nor deny your need for a costume.
Tata: I have GOT to try paying attention when people are talking!

Huh! What is my sister up to?

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2 responses to “We Always Liked Picasso Anyway

  1. Pingback: Promote the General Welfare And Secure the Blessings Of | Poor Impulse Control

  2. Pingback: Strange How the Night Moves | Poor Impulse Control

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