That goddamned tire was flat again today. I had just read Mr. Breszny’s prediction for the Aquarian 2007:
There are still places in China where plagues of locusts periodically descend in Biblical proportions. A few years ago, farmers in the region of Xinjiang fought back, gathering an army of 10,000 chickens in anticipation of the invading hordes. The bird soldiers were trained for two months, and when the showdown came, they acquitted themselves admirably. This vignette is an apt metaphor for a challenge you’ll face in 2007. While in general the year should bring an abundant amount of sweet luck and high adventures, there will be a locust visitation or two. I urge you to assemble your own personal equivalent of a chicken army. What might that mean, practically speaking? Here are some possibilities: (1) Be well-prepared for natural anomalies. (2) Ally yourself with the enemy of your adversary. (3) Get others to help you fight your battles.
Fuck! I might have to report this to the cops. Is there a quicker way to recruit a chicken army? Fortunately, my innards are a double helping of red hot Scorpio.
In 2007, you’ll need to find the power to do the half-right thing when it’s impossible to do the totally right thing. To help you do that, remember this advice from Abraham Lincoln: “The true rule, in determining to embrace or reject anything, is not whether it have any evil in it; but whether it have more of evil than of good. There are few things wholly evil, or wholly good. Almost every thing is an inseparable compound of the two; so that our best judgment of the preponderance between them is continually demanded.”
Yeah yeah, Good. Evil. Good v. Evil. Good with a creamy nougat center of Evil. Evil with a hard, candy shell of Good. Reverse the recipe and rock on.
I don’t have enemies and I don’t want any. I want to skip madly along my own path and throw petals at the small-minded and selfish. Hopefully, somewhere along the line, another equally mad skipper sashays along side, but I can’t do anything about that. What I have to do is find an artform for the next stage of my life, which has nothing to do with anyone else’s problems with me, however real, imaginary or growling like a pirate. So if someone is flattening my tires, that person is seriously misguided. There’s nothing to be gained by damaging my car.
In other news, I’m spending too much time alone and a florist moved in a few blocks from here. I’m thinking of hiring my own Munchkins and easing on down Route 27. Often.