The Line Forms On the Right, Babe

Could it be our boy’s done something rash?

Audrey and I are always in the same Aquarian boat, and have been since 1991. If I’m at the end of my rope with some man, Audrey’s just put another on the train back to his mama. If her friends are acting crazy, mine play with toy trains on the railroad tracks. If her mother’s speaking in tongues, mine has laryngitis. Yesterday, I was upset and sent her what would otherwise be an unintelligible email.

Tata: In the past two weeks, how many rats have jumped ship?
Audrey: They jumped in the month prior.
Tata: Alone, alone, alone?
Audrey: Yes, yes, yes.

She was right. I’ve been a slow learner. Aquarians of my acquaintance are all close to a breaking point, if they haven’t already broken. A woman in my office has been calling her husband “the Liability” for a couple of months now. A man I see every day grows desperate about his wife’s refusal to treat her depression.

Life is really fucking short. Enough with lovers who don’t have time, can’t be honest, have to play games or only want us on their terms. Let us waste no more time on lament. The trees are a breathtaking green. The sky is a pillowy blue. Every night is filled with starry promise, and Audrey and I are fabulous, brainy babes. Somewhere, there are courageous, lusty hedonists, and let’s not keep them waiting.

One word: NEXT!

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