Where Do You Dare Me To Draw

I.

Pete stands in the doorway in new boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

Pete: …I was thinking we could go the grocery store and AutoZone and stop at the farm stand on the way back. You’re looking at me funny.
Tata: Am I? I guess I’m a little distracted.
Pete: I’m wearing your underwear, aren’t I?

II.

Tata: I’d like to buy a case of this wine so my neighbors shopping at the drug store stop clutching their children when I buy three bottles at a time.
Young Liquor Store Clerk: Here you go. That’s $54.75.
Tata: Thanks. My Handsome Prince just ran off to look for gluten-free beer, so I’ll just stand here …and …look purty.

Then we laughed for different reasons.

III.

Auntie InExcelsisDeo: …and you, in your sweat pants –
Tata: These aren’t sweat pants. They are stunt pants. I’m wearing them over jeans to keep my hip warm, but look – zip, zip, zip and they come right off!
Auntie I.: Don’t they all!

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