Say, isn’t this a blog called Poor Impulse Control, which title is like uber-swiped from a novel predicting a terrible, fucked up future? Well, not if you’ve seen my table manners, but what’s this then?

Important characters

Y.T. (“Yours Truly”)
A 15-year-old skateboard “Kourier” who helps Hiro investigate the mysterious meta-virus. She is Hiro’s “partner” in information-gathering for the Central Intelligence Corporation. Her real name is never stated, though she is alluded to in a later book by Stephenson, The Diamond Age. Like all Kouriers, she uses an electromagnetic harpoon to hitch a ride from (often-unwilling) motor vehicles, such as Hiro’s. Though she does not carry any lethal weapons, all Kouriers are outfitted with a wide variety of defensive countermeasures, which Y.T. uses throughout the book to escape sticky situations. Her mother is a worn-down programmer for the irrelevant Federal Government; Stephenson satirizes American bureaucracy (in particular, the real-life Code of Federal Regulations) via a multi-page memo on intra-office toilet paper policies which good employees are expected to spend 15.62 minutes reading.

Toilet paper policies? What? Help us, Newark Mayor Corey Booker:

Newark city employees may have to start carrying a roll of Charmin’s [sic] to work.

Mayor Cory Booker says the city can no longer afford to buy toilet paper.

Who knew the terrible, fucked up future would also be embarrassing?