I’ve Been Calling All Day

Outdoors is really just a giant terrarium, when you and your pepper plants think about it.

It’s Sunday, so here’s the garden. It’s got problems. It’s got issues. I am learning about square foot gardening at a rapid rate. For instance: four zucchini plants will not fit in any square foot gardening scheme, except possibly at the four corners, where they will be throwing spiny tantrums – and I know that. Why did I do this to my herbs and leafy greens? I don’t know. We suspect the deer are treating my fenced-in garden like a salad bar without a sneeze gaurd, but I can’t prove that without a trail of bacon bits. My neighbor came outside one morning and found a family of surly deer standing inside his fenced in garden, smoking menthols. The deer didn’t even run away. They stared at our neighbor, asked for directions to the convenience store and lumbered off. So maybe that’s why my eggplants are leafless.

One thing you can see clearly is plants that survived the groundhog rampages are doing well. Sort of. They’re doing a lot of something but it’s hard to tell what, exactly. It may turn out that we need six-foot fencing, which may not help with future groundhog problems. We’ve had this conversation often recently.

Us: We have a groundhog. Ate half our garden.
Helpful person: You should shoot him!
Us: If we drew a gun in our backyard the police would be on our roof in a matter of minutes.
Helpful person: Well, that’s what I’d do.
Us: We’ll visit you in jail!

Basil germinating in two window boxes is almost ready to move out of the greenhouse. Pesto: here we come.

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