Haven’t figured out why yet, but I joined Twitter. This immediately gave me a headache and made me love Steve Martin more, since he doesn’t write in Twitter’s secret code language. Do not pretend that Twitter is not peepulated with cool-kid code. It certainly is and that is a bore. Strange upside: Mr. Bittman might introduce us to someone interesting.

Prior to pursuing his nutrition studies, Andy [Bellatti] completed a bachelor’s degree in journalism and gender & sexuality studies at New York University.

His passion for nutrition was partially sparked by the sheer confusion he used to experience when trying to determine what constituted healthy eating in a society where nutrition messages are often clouded by marketing, sales profits, and hype.

Hey! I’m confused all the time! He sounds promising. What’s he on about?

…I’m shining the spotlight inward, taking a look at pervasive, accepted, and often times unquestioned concepts, ideas, and issues within the field of nutrition that carry a significant risk of self-harm. They are dangerous because they don’t allow for growth, critical analysis, or substantive dialogue; instead, they minimize the nutrition field’s importance and have helped create the current free-for-all we are in, where the term “nutrition expert” is as loosely thrown around as “reality TV star”.

Ooooooh. Mr. Bellatti, you have my undivided attention. Tell me more.

1) “There is no such thing as junk food”/”there are no bad foods”

2) “Moderation!”

3) “Healthy Eater = Red Flag”

4) “You Have To Be Realistic”

5) The American Dietetic Association Isn’t A Health Organization

It is hard to imagine how Mr. Bellatti wrote that entire post without sticking an ADA monogrammed pen through the ribcage and enlarged heart of a junk food-defending dietitian. You should read the whole thing and the comments, too, for extra goobertastic entertainment. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what the point of getting a degree in food science is if you’re scared to even ever-so-gently TELL PEOPLE ABOUT GODDAMN FOOD SCIENCE. Fast food is not food. That’s not a secret you should prepare to take with you to the grave, nutritionists!

Sing out!

Some people argue that if we do not preach moderation, we are setting the stage for unreachable perfectionism and eating disorders, a position that I find grossly melodramatic. Recommending that people shy away from fast food whenever possible is not about perfection; it’s healthful advice.

Who are these professionals who say stopping at McDonald’s is a fine idea? Who are they? What exactly is wrong with them? I’d really like to know.