A Chance On A Brand New Dance

Week 4 Friday Morning Report

Goal 1
Since last week, I lost 2 lbs.

Goal 3
No time for yoga but this also meant I was inpspired to stretch a little more every day. So some good came of being pressed for time.

Last Monday, I had a talk with myself.

Tata: You have a goal you really want to achieve and yet you cling to behaviors and structures that do not serve your desires.
Tata: Lady, what the hell are you talking about?
Tata: Our fat ass.
Tata: Yep. Still there!
Tata: Exactly. You’re eating a lot of fresh foods and minimizing white flours, which is great.
Tata: Pat me on the back. I can’t…quite…reach –
Tata: It’s not enough. Our weight’s held steady for weeks, despite the fanatical and fun efforts to exercise, even in crushing heat.
Tata: Are we almost done? My epaulets are wilting.
Tata: For the time being, why not take one step further? You want to lose weight. Why not eliminate a source of calories you hadn’t even considered?
Tata: Which one?
Tata: Wine.
Tata: I can’t give up drinking wine! Might as well tell me to breathe every other hour!
Tata: Wine slows down your metabolism.
Tata: What metabolism?
Tata: Right.
Tata: No, really. What metabolism? If it can’t get any slower why not pad the blow?
Tata: In other words, you don’t actually care if we lose weight?
Tata: I do. As long as I don’t have to actually work at it. Or give up anything. Or pay attention, really. And six weeks from now – POOF! We’re a size 2.
Tata: We’ll be a size 2 a year after we’re pushing up daisies, sweetheart.
Tata: Can’t we just skip to the “Tata – After” photo?
Tata: No. So whaddya say we quit sipping pino grigio after dinner on school nights?
Tata: Will I be rewarded with a sleek, athletic build?
Tata: How about healthy, and with all the curves of a mountain road under the wheels of a gassed-up Lotus?
Tata: What? No wonder nobody understands a word we say.

Common sense prevailed. I know! I can’t believe it, either. I mentioned this to Siobhan.

Tata: I’m not having a sip of wine until I next weigh myself. Don’t tell anyone. What would people say?
Siobhan: “She quit drinking BOOZE? It was as if a million vineyards cried out as one and then were silent.”
Tata: I could cause panic by changing one aspect of my life?
Siobhan: Remember your red vinyl mini-skirt and that little people band?
Tata: And look who we’ve got our Hanes on now. Point taken.

Nobody panic! Each body is different and wants different things to achieve results. Mine wants a month-long vegetarian art and yoga boot camp where there are no electronic devices to cloud the mind. Barring that – as it remains undelivered by the Wild Fantasy Fairy and how would the ashram fit under my pillow? – this aspect of my July project is complete. I’ll keep at it. Though the path is pretty clear, I can still find the poison ivy.

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