In most things, one can find good news and bad news. When I read this recipe I had questions, but finally my first thought wasn’t I’ll ask Dad – to be immediately followed by Ah shit, not again. Usually, I’d ask Minstrel Boy technical questions about jarring, but he has his hands full at the moment with another matter. This meant that I stared at this recipe for a few days, bought the cherry tomatoes and still hadn’t figured out how to measure English pints in grams in my kitchen. Last night, Pete and I bicycled over to my sister Anya’s and asked if she had a food scale. She did not. Her husband Dan, who is a terrible liar – by which I mean he has no talent for it – pulled out a half gallon of soy milk and began converting milliliters into centimeters. I guffawed at him. If I remember correctly from third grade, that might work with water but not cherry tomatoes and certainly not since for me numbers are a little fuzzy. This morning, still perplexed, I called my boss Gianna, who lives three blocks away. She was not at home.
Tata: Hi, this is Ta. I was wondering if you had a food scale that measured in grams. I have a French recipe for tomato jam that calls for ingredients measured by weight and not volume, and since grams are usually the province of drug dealers, I don’t exactly know what to do. Stop laughing and call me back.
I thought about what I’d just said and rousted Pete from under his car. No, I hadn’t run him over. Yes, he was working on his brakes. With TOOLS! We went to Target and while I tied myself in knots trying to find something remotely underwear-esque to wear to the massage therapist’s, Pete picked out a decent food scale. He is our hero! I am considering going back for the boxer shorts with the mugs of beer.
Gianna was at a wedding and called back while we were in the car.
Gianna: I got your message. What?
Tata: The recipe I’m working on came from a French source and I got stuck.
Gianna: A French recipe. What? How?
Tata: Those questions sound so reasonable when you ask them! We bought a scale. If the recipe turns out, I’ll bring you a jar and if the recipe doesn’t turn out I’ll save your life and not bring you a jar.
Gianna: Thanks. I think!
Turns out 2 pints of cherry tomatoes weighs about 800 grams. Finally, I can start making sense.