The Block People Will Talk

Having Poor Impulse Control in two places sucks like a giant thing that sucks a whole lot. It’s here and here, where I was goddamn funny. It’s tough over here to keep reminding you of what I said over there. I said a lot of things. Some of them were about recycling. I keep talking:

Hello Ms. [Representative of the Unnamed University’s Recycling Program],

We hear a lot about recycling programs at the university and they sound great, but we don’t hear anything about composting. A simple example: offices and vendors all over make coffee every morning, and every morning, custodians lug perfectly compostable coffee filters and grounds out to the trash, which is then carted off to landfill. We then see university lawns get fertilized every spring.

This is paying people to take something away, then paying someone else to bring something back, wasting money in an ecologically damaging way. None of this is necessary if the university sets up an internal composting system that then can be used to fertilize the lawns. It’s a huge, huge opportunity to take an important step into a better future, and the timing couldn’t be better: right here in the library, the university is opening a café. Here is the chance to make a big step and a big PR splash: have the café contribute its compostable wastes to a pilot composting program.

This is not farfetched. This kind of thing happens all over the world. We can do this and I hope you’ll consider it.

Thank you.

Fucking polite for me, eh? She wrote back like she was giving my shoulder a shove.

100% of organics are recycled, composting is highly regulated and very labor intensive and makes no sense when we have limited labor on campus.

Dahhhling, nobody who’s anybody starts a sentence with a numeral, puhhhhlease!

Ms. [RotUURP],

Actually, it does make sense to have both localized and centralized composting stations. It’s done all over Europe. It can be done here, and it should.

Initially, it’s a bit of work to see plans through, but it can be done and it would make Rutgers look really smart.

Thank you,

I’m laughing but I want to tear apart her jewelry with my well-placed bicuspids. Apparently, she hates me and punctuation with equal vigor.

Tata we are not composting University is Really smart we have attempted small stations which were abandoned and because we commit all of our food waste from the dining halls and soon from the student and rec centers to beneficial reuse at a cost savings for the university there is no need to compost which requires intensive permitting, and is labor intesive.
Thanks for your interest

I wrote her one more eager epistle attesting to the ease of composting, but by then she’d moved on to fully ignoring me. I should be crushed that she doesn’t find me persuasive and my cause compelling, just crushed – like eggshells in a composter.

Tune in tomorrow for more proof that other people are resisting my irresistability!

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