Your Friends Subway Kid Rejoice

Siobhan’s housemate broke up with her live-in boyfriend on Friday afternoon and had a date with someone else that night. While I am impressed with her scheduling prowess and determined carpe-ing of a Friday p.m., I am somewhat dismayed that the housemate’s sudden braising in new juices caused Siobhan to lose sleep when the live-in boyfriend moved out in an after-midnight sense that coincided with a before-breakfast sensibility. This caused me to think about how miserable a housemate I might have been during the decade or so I burned a swath across the local social scene. Ah, well. It’s so inconvenient for Me to have to think about other people! But while I’m at it, let’s both think about this person, Michigan State Senator Bruce Caswell:

Yes. That's his real face.

You can’t always look at a face and see its wearer’s dysfunction, but sometimes the face opens its mouth and tells you all about it. What, mouth, what?

“I never had anything new,” Caswell says. “I got all the hand-me-downs. And my dad, he did a lot of shopping at the Salvation Army, and his comment was – and quite frankly it’s true – once you’re out of the store and you walk down the street, nobody knows where you bought your clothes.”

Bruce, that must’ve been terrible for you. I’m sure the indignity of wearing secondhand clothing as a child and worrying about what other people thought made you a compassionate adult with nothing but love in your heart for disadvantaged children.

Foster children in Michigan would use their state-funded clothing allowance only in thrift stores under a plan suggested by State Senator Bruce Caswell.

If I quit sleeping nights for ten more years I would never even hallucinate anything that diabolical, let alone suggest it as a plan to save the state money.

Caswell says the gift card idea wouldn’t save the state any money.

Ah. Well. I’m sorry I have to think of Bruce Caswell at all, and since I do, I think Bruce Caswell is a genuinely bad person.

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4 responses to “Your Friends Subway Kid Rejoice

  1. Caswell claims that the gift card idea is to ensure that the clothing subsidy is used for clothing and nothing else. However, why second-hand stores, then? He has since modified his proposal so that the gift cards could be used in major retail outlets, and has some deal or other being negotiated to get gift card users a discount in the major retail stores. He has not mentioned that the modifications followed an uproar over his original proposal.

  2. It’s both disgusting and illegal to sell used underwear, so the proposal was unworkable on its – excuse me – face. Used socks and shoes are a terrible idea. Used shoes deliver to the second user the orthopedic problems of the original user and that’s all you freaking need.

    The purpose of the proposal was twofold: to create an understanding in these children that they are disposable and to puff up these Republican dickwads.

    Let us hope the people of Michigan tolerate neither.

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