Topaz is curled up in my lap. She and Drusy came to live with me a little over four years ago now. It’s been about sixteen months since prickly Topaz threw caution to the wind and climbed into my lap to cuddle. After awhile, it’s time to get over what was, what we did, who we might have been. If Topaz can, I can, too. Today, I looked up the video for Fake Plastic Trees, which I’ve never seen.
For fifteen years, the memory of this and and depression were enough to turn me inside, but not today. I waited for a feeling of familiar devastation that didn’t come. Waited. Waited. Nothing! Then I felt stupid for expecting to feel small and broken.
Well, whaddya know: I might be over it. Whaddoo I do now? If I am free, this is a new life.
The cats freaked with people in the house. Their fur stood on end and they went Full Kitty Invisible for a couple of hours. I later found Sweetpea in a spot behind the couch where I’d looked for cats and did not find them, but Topaz and Drusy’s hiding spots remain mysterious. As I write, Topaz crouches on the dining room table, blinking slowly at me. The noise and the hubbub were too much for them, which makes them cuddly and suspicious now. Sweetpea snores softly on the couch and Drusy crunch-crunch-crunches kibble in the new quiet of the kitchen.
It’s been a long time since my brain fired on several cylinders. It’s fantastic, being brainy. Spin this 45, baby:
Tata: Smart is a great feeling.
Dad: What does feeling smart feel like?
Tata: Smart feels like you can see in every direction.
Dad: You can see in every direction. I have to think about that.
Tata: Yep. Think of traveling with the light of the lghthouse on a foggy night.
Dad: Not being the lighthouse?
Tata: Nah, they just stand around lookin’ purty.
At the moment, I can’t see the screen without reading glasses, but I’m optimistic. I think I can learn more about simple techniques this weekend. I feel like light.
A little while ago, Topaz did this strange thing where she started chirping oddly. Topaz talks a lot and pretty clearly for a person disguised as a 6lb. black cat, so I asked her what was going on.
Tata: Hey, Topaz, what’s going on?
Topaz chirped, bounded in a circle and went to the bottom of the stairs. Pete caught on.
Pete: Open the doors upstairs. Drusy’s locked inside somewhere.
When I opened the third door, Drusy gave me a look like my necklace was in her cosmo and sailed downstairs to the living room. That’s how long it took her to forgive me, but it was a painfully long fifteen seconds. It’s your turn to forgive me. I’ve got a project to prepare. You’ll see it soon. For the moment, know that I still find you captivating.
Pete and I couldn’t watch the Giro last night. We turned it off after about fifteen minutes. Go to about 2:30 for a minute of strange pathos.