The laptop is a paper weight, so posting might be interesting for a few days. Rumor has it other, normal people can post from their phones, but it takes me a year to type a sentence on my phone. This morning, I couldn’t get the thing to show me locations and hours for the store I was proposing to empty into my trunk, so I had to simply show up with legal tender and hope for the best. Generally speaking, hopeful is not an excellent way to enter into transactions.

Today, I gathered up my coupons and went on my annual pilgrimage to Harmon Discount Beauty Supplies, where I think we can agree I buy a lot of beauty. I say without shame I spent hours there, reading labels and choosing exactly what products I wanted to try out, what old favorites I’d stick by and discerning what the spring nail polish collections were doing, color-wise. Pete was working at the bagel shop, which saved him from what would certainly have amounted to blackout-inducing tedium, but probably wouldn’t have protected him from the almost seismic shock to my checking account. When I described it to him later, Pete said, “It’s your money. You can spend it how you like. Or bail out Greece.” Yes, I watched it add up, add up and add up while thinking about those coupons lying on the counter between me and the cashier like a lottery ticket. The grand total should have been alarming, but then she started scanning the coupons, a little doubtful at first that the register would accept them. After a few $5 coupons went through, she said, “I’m just going to scan them until it tells me to stop.” Her plan sounded great to me and when she was done, the register recalculated the total from the beginning and off came just about $56. If my husband finds that yard-long register tape, he might pass out anyway and I am not exaggerating even a tiny, tiny bit.