Category Archives: professionals

And Some You Can’t Disguise

Posted by Tata on

Well, it’s happened again: the New Brunswick Police shot and killed an unarmed Black man.

Investigators recovered a bullet from scene[sic] where New Brunswick police fatally shot a man last week, and relatives are cooperating in the investigation authorities said today.

In a statement released late today, Middlesex County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan said two dozen investigators from his office have interviewed 37 people about the fatal shooting of 47-year-old city resident Barry Deloatch.

“Many of these witnesses who were identified and-or[sic] came forward did so because of the assistance and encouragement of community leaders, and because of some of Mr. Deloatch’s relatives, who are cooperating with law enforcement,” Kaplan said in the statement.

Relatives of Deloatch have participated in several rallies protesting the shooting and demanding an investigation by an agency outside Middlesex County.

Relatives have said a witness told them Deloatch was shot as he ran from police. Residents have said they will continue demonstrations.

Note the prosecutor’s emphasis on the word cooperation. In early accounts, the police would not talk to the family, leading to understandable and familiar community outrage.

“Let’s face it, New Brunswick has had a troubled police department for a very long time,” Deborah Jacobs, a local representative from the American Civil Liberties Union, said at the meeting. She asked people to sign a letter by ACLU urging the federal government to probe the shooting.

Jacobs also showed the crowd a “bust card,” detailing the rights a civilian has when stopped by police.

The New Brunswick-area branch of NAACP organized the meeting Wednesday. “NAACP has been involved with this from the outset and will continue to be involved until justice has been served for Barry Deloatch and processes are in place to stop these wanton killings in our community,” NAACP president Bruce Morgan said in an email announcing the meeting.

The call for an investigating agency outside Middlesex County is a smart one.

Pretty But I’ve Never Been

Posted by Tata on

Shiny yarn drives the pussycats especially crrrrrrazy.

Drusy is curled up on my lap, explaining everything that boy in her French class said in the lunch room – either that or I’m confused about the fall hemlines and why five people in my office turned up in purple shirts today. Turns out I’m sensitive to chemicals in paint the construction guys are using in an office immediately adjacent to mine and several times in the last month I’ve spent whole days unable to count how many fingers I was holding up. Still, I thought they were finished. That site was opening up today. Just after noon, I realized I’d been reading the same paragraph for half an hour, so I went and looked. Sure enough, one of the painters was pouring paint just on the other side of the wall.

Then I was happy because at least I was stooopid for a reason. Reason, however, fails these people altogether.

His Hat Was His Home

Posted by Tata on

This is just sad:

Has knife; has yet to get a grip.

About the Show

Lisa Lillien is not a nutritionist. She’s just hungry. She’s a “foodologist”, whose Hungry Girl email newsletter reaches 1 million subscribers daily. She invents simple, delicious recipes that are guilt-free, satisfy cravings and taste great without adding lots of extra calories and fat grams to your daily diet. In her series, Hungry Girl stops at nothing to provide us with the answers we all need — what to eat, what to buy, what to cook, how to read labels. She’ll have lots of tips, whether at home or out in the world. Each week Hungry Girl will feature low-calorie recipes and makeovers of fatty favorites; feature survival guides for restaurants and eating situations; alert viewers to shocking (yet fun!) facts about the food we eat; and share all of her secret weapons to “chew the right thing” through her fun and inventive approach to food.

All that emphasis? Yeah, that’s mine. You probably think I’m exaggerating when I say this woman and this show pose an actual threat to idiots fascinated with shiny objects. Watch this culinary crazy train. THAT’S NOT FOOD, IT’S MALNUTRITION ON A PLATE.

There’s a lot wrong with Lisa Lillien’s fun food philosophy that relies so heavily on guilt avoidance and daily dieting; essentially, food is your enemy and you are your enemy and your enemies go dancing every night without you, though they call you up to tell you every exasperating detail. Who develops such an incredibly hostile and fraught relationship with food? Women, of course. Women who’ve been on diets since before glorious puberty tied their paths to svelte fame and fortune into Gordian knots fraying near the bathmat fringe. This isn’t eating for your health, to feed your deeper self the vitamins and nutrients key to building a strong body and a calm, active mind. No, this is colorful self-sabotage and trying to plug the hole where Mommy’s bitterness poured in like icy bilge water. You can never be good enough. Why not skip the flowers and say it with rickets? Though she never mentions vitamins, electrolytes, fiber, grains, calcium, Omega fatty acids or anything else a nutritionist should, Lillien goes on ad nauseam about calories, fat reduction and large portions. She mentions protein, probably because without protein in your diet your hair falls out and the other Real Housewives of your condo complex will TAWK. It’s a prescription for fatigue, bad skin and useless muscles, but if you’re underweight, that’s a rock-hard victory, right?

Wrong. I didn’t spend years horking up every meal and getting over it to lie to you about this shit. Lillien doesn’t seem to have a problem suggesting the most ridiculous, metabolism-wrecking horseshit to people stupid enough think a dozen chocolate cupcakes constitute diet food. Maybe they deserve each other, but maybe they don’t. Certainly, Lillien doesn’t deserve a platform on the Food Network spouting this utter crap for cash.

I Won’t Be Leaving Here With You

Posted by Tata on

Talk about missing the pointy-point-point:

I think Democrats can make a move in the right direction if work to re-bridge the communication divide by not just looking to hire “New Media strategists” (BTW I loathe people still using the term “new media” in freaking 2011) or “social media gurus” who can help them put up some meaningless blog post or launch Twitter accounts, but by bringing in staffers with progressive policy and political gravitas who fundamentally “get” the zeitgeist of both off and online left. As mentioned, above Democrats took some baby steps baby steps back in ’04-05 following the rise of Netroots, and showed some encouraging signs all the way up to 2008, but in last two years despite the explosion in social media communities, the engagement fundamentally has been stalled. I don’t believe we are going to get moving any time soon unless sincere efforts are made to bridge the enormous divide between DC and the Netroots. As prescribed above, a couple of good places to start would be to immediately move away from the extreme rightward tilt in policy and by re-engaging with the Netroots in a meaningful way that is not based on superficial focus on tools but policy.

Sorry, pumpkin, but unless you’ve got an assload of cash and your own offshore labor force, the Democratic Party just isn’t into you. From an acceptable social distance, it’s easy to see you’re terribly impressed with your connections, but what you’ve failed to notice is that the Democratic Party isn’t interested in hanging out with its base anymore. Communication isn’t going to help, since the base has been communicating its desires clearly for decades, while the Party has communicated its desire to avoid its base like a bad smell. The Party has plans, darling, that don’t include protecting the poor, the elderly, minorities, workers, the sick, women and children – and veterans had better watch out, too. For you to stand there and argue about decision-making streams and conversations is so 2005.

It’s over, darling. Someone may line up behind your velvet rope, but I sincerely hope not and it certainly won’t be me.

The Only Part That Wasn’t Bloody

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White guys are fucking confused. This editorial is on the front page of today’s Star Ledger, which should be confusing enough:

President Obama is a fine man, but he just got rolled by Republicans again.

He wanted a grand bargain, and they said no. He wanted a balance of spending and tax changes, and they said no again. And now, with 14 million Americans out of work, he’s about to sign an agreement full of job-killing spending cuts. This, he tells us, is good for the country.

You get the feeling that if they kidnapped his dog, he would pay them money to return it. And say thank you.

The solution here is obvious: Obama needs a blood transfusion from someone meaner, someone who doesn’t shy away from a fight, someone who is willing to take his case to the people and force change.

He needs a dose of Gov. Chris Christie.

If there is anything that should tell us our pundit class has gone ’round the fucking twist, it is admiration for bullies by people claiming to defend the defenseless. This front-page editorial on the online paper is titled Moran: President Obama needs a dose of Chris Christie. What are we saying about Christie here? Is he strong medicine? Is this sexual innuendo? Skin lightener? The paper itself says something entirely different.

What Obama’s missing:
The guts of our governor

That’s so offensive you might almost overlook the fat joke.

Cross-posted and re-written for Brilliant@Breakfast to include at least a few complete sentences.

My Voice Too Rough From Cigarettes

Posted by Tata on

Haven’t figured out why yet, but I joined Twitter. This immediately gave me a headache and made me love Steve Martin more, since he doesn’t write in Twitter’s secret code language. Do not pretend that Twitter is not peepulated with cool-kid code. It certainly is and that is a bore. Strange upside: Mr. Bittman might introduce us to someone interesting.

Prior to pursuing his nutrition studies, Andy [Bellatti] completed a bachelor’s degree in journalism and gender & sexuality studies at New York University.

His passion for nutrition was partially sparked by the sheer confusion he used to experience when trying to determine what constituted healthy eating in a society where nutrition messages are often clouded by marketing, sales profits, and hype.

Hey! I’m confused all the time! He sounds promising. What’s he on about?

…I’m shining the spotlight inward, taking a look at pervasive, accepted, and often times unquestioned concepts, ideas, and issues within the field of nutrition that carry a significant risk of self-harm. They are dangerous because they don’t allow for growth, critical analysis, or substantive dialogue; instead, they minimize the nutrition field’s importance and have helped create the current free-for-all we are in, where the term “nutrition expert” is as loosely thrown around as “reality TV star”.

Ooooooh. Mr. Bellatti, you have my undivided attention. Tell me more.

  • 1) “There is no such thing as junk food”/”there are no bad foods”
  • 2) “Moderation!”
  • 3) “Healthy Eater = Red Flag”
  • 4) “You Have To Be Realistic”
  • 5) The American Dietetic Association Isn’t A Health Organization

    • It is hard to imagine how Mr. Bellatti wrote that entire post without sticking an ADA monogrammed pen through the ribcage and enlarged heart of a junk food-defending dietitian. You should read the whole thing and the comments, too, for extra goobertastic entertainment. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what the point of getting a degree in food science is if you’re scared to even ever-so-gently TELL PEOPLE ABOUT GODDAMN FOOD SCIENCE. Fast food is not food. That’s not a secret you should prepare to take with you to the grave, nutritionists!

    Sing out!

    Some people argue that if we do not preach moderation, we are setting the stage for unreachable perfectionism and eating disorders, a position that I find grossly melodramatic. Recommending that people shy away from fast food whenever possible is not about perfection; it’s healthful advice.

    Who are these professionals who say stopping at McDonald’s is a fine idea? Who are they? What exactly is wrong with them? I’d really like to know.

    He’s A Bad Comedian

    Posted by Tata on

    Gentlemen, start your crime sprees.

    Crime is on the rise in one small Texas city because the police department has been padlocked and the officers sent home.

    The city of Alto laid off its entire police force about two weeks ago because the city council completely cut the department’s budget.

    Wait: no one would be so stupid as to lay off an entire police department to save a little pin money, would they?

    “We had to do something drastic,” Councilman Jerry Flowers explained to Forbes. “The police department being a non-money-making entity, was the easiest to get rid of while we catch our breath and build up some cash.”

    OMIGOD, SOMEONE WOULD!

    The city is facing a $185,000 budget deficit due to declining property and sale[sic] tax revenues. To make matters worse, the town hasn’t saved up to make the necessary repairs to a natural gas distribution plant.

    “There have been accusations that the police department is not generating enough revenue,” [Police Chief Charles] Barron said. “Well, police departments are not revenue generators.”

    Eliminating the police department should certainly improve the quality of small town life, not to mention generate piles of revenue. What with the Wild West atmosphere, I bet businesses are lining up to invest in savvy Alto, Texas!

    “In the last 24 hours, we’ve answered 18 calls in the county; seven of them were in Alto,” Cherokee County Sheriff James Campbell remarked. “When you’re sitting there needing help, it’s a lifetime.”

    Last week, residents called law enforcement on four people allegedly attempting a bank robbery in the small town.

    …Or maybe not so much and the joint’s a ghost town by this time next year. Either way: this should serve as proof that Flowers and the other councilmen have no fucking idea what they’re doing and deserve to be run out of what’s left of town on a rail.

    They Were Calling It Your Cocktail Dress

    Posted by Tata on

    Last night, Pete and I watched as the State Assembly fucked over 1 in 7 New Jersey residents by gutting public workers’ pensions and cranking up the heat on health insurances. The “debate” was broadcast on NJN, our state’s PBS station as I understand it because a vote was due later on whether or not the legislature would allow Governor Christie to sell NJN to WNET, a New York station. The specifics of that perplex me because I thought WNET came out of Newark, but I might be wrong about that part; suffice it to say the NJN people looked nervous on-air. Anyhoo, many members of the assembly cannot count public speaking as one of their magical powers and most speeches were incoherent. Some were better, heartfelt and distraught. Some made no fucking sense whatsoever as blue collar Democrats from urban areas struggled to explain why fucking over poor and middle class people was the right thing to do. One speaker from Camden couldn’t even finish a sentence without contradicting himself, so great was his cognitive dissonance. But this motherfucker took the motherfucking cake:

    If this guy offers to "help" you, feel around for the knife in your back.

    That’s Assemblyman Louis D. Greenwald, Democrat of the 6th District (Hamilton). He was the sponsor of the bill joining Republican union busting and Democratic need to please father figures by punishing women and minorities. Here is his statement, which he read to the assembly almost verbatim. We’ll get to that almost in a minute. Can I get a witness?

    New Jersey’s economic reality cannot be ignored.

    “As of the July 20, 2010 report from the Division of Pensions and Benefits, the post retirement health benefit deficit was $66.8 billion. On the pension side, the combined unfunded liability as of June 30, 2010 was $53.8 billion.

    “These are real numbers that play a large role in our property tax problem, and these numbers are reality because for decades people from both parties failed to do the right thing to keep these systems strong for our public employees.

    “As difficult as this is to ask people in this economy to pay more, this legislation will finally fix the fragility of this system.

    “This bill will bring property tax relief, make benefits sustainable for the working families who rely on them and preserve collective bargaining for future negotiations. This protects both taxpayers and worker rights.

    “It’s now our responsibility to safeguard these systems and make sure the problems that led to this legislation never happen again. That is our obligation and commitment to New Jersey property taxpayers and public servants.”

    Yes, all that extra punctuation should go to a good home, but not mine: I have cats and a groundhog to feed, what with that GINORMOUS pay cut coming my way, courtesy of Louis Greenwald and other quisling Dems. I was discussing it this morning with Siobhan.

    Tata: It was absolute torture to watch the speeches on the assembly floor. Many of those people should not have skipped public speaking – or any kind of speaking – classes in high school. Greenwald was particularly odious for his repeated claim that he was saving the pension system and benefits by gutting them. But what signaled to me that he is slime was when he turned to the gallery and said to the unions in an overly emotional manner, “This is not your fault.” Because I heard, “Baby, why did you make me do that to you?”

    Siobhan: But he was saying “Baby, it’s not your fault that I have to hit you, but you have to take it.” That’s such a different torture and belittling technique, because, see, it’s not his fault and it’s not yours, it just has to happen!

    It is my fond hope that Democrats up for re-election call my house for votes and support, because I will happily explain why they will get neither. Further, I hope working people help Greenwald seek other employment opportunities in November, since he is a vile substitute for a human being who should be shunned by decent people for what he has done.

    Moving Is This Message

    Posted by Tata on

    Tata: Remember that time we were watching Trading Spaces and Hildi brought in cardboard furniture? I said, “Fire hazard” and you said, “I hope that’s industrial cardboard.”
    Siobhan: Hildi is evil and I’m still afraid she might touch me. Remember that room with hay on the walls?
    Tata: Even memory loss won’t protect me from that. So what’s this about high end cat furniture?
    Siobhan: Buckle up, baby!

    Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    Cardboard cat holder: $320.

    Cardboard cat holder: $49.

    Cardboard cat holder: $54.

    Your Friends Subway Kid Rejoice

    Posted by Tata on

    Siobhan’s housemate broke up with her live-in boyfriend on Friday afternoon and had a date with someone else that night. While I am impressed with her scheduling prowess and determined carpe-ing of a Friday p.m., I am somewhat dismayed that the housemate’s sudden braising in new juices caused Siobhan to lose sleep when the live-in boyfriend moved out in an after-midnight sense that coincided with a before-breakfast sensibility. This caused me to think about how miserable a housemate I might have been during the decade or so I burned a swath across the local social scene. Ah, well. It’s so inconvenient for Me to have to think about other people! But while I’m at it, let’s both think about this person, Michigan State Senator Bruce Caswell:

    Yes. That's his real face.

    You can’t always look at a face and see its wearer’s dysfunction, but sometimes the face opens its mouth and tells you all about it. What, mouth, what?

    “I never had anything new,” Caswell says. “I got all the hand-me-downs. And my dad, he did a lot of shopping at the Salvation Army, and his comment was – and quite frankly it’s true – once you’re out of the store and you walk down the street, nobody knows where you bought your clothes.”

    Bruce, that must’ve been terrible for you. I’m sure the indignity of wearing secondhand clothing as a child and worrying about what other people thought made you a compassionate adult with nothing but love in your heart for disadvantaged children.

    Foster children in Michigan would use their state-funded clothing allowance only in thrift stores under a plan suggested by State Senator Bruce Caswell.

    If I quit sleeping nights for ten more years I would never even hallucinate anything that diabolical, let alone suggest it as a plan to save the state money.

    Caswell says the gift card idea wouldn’t save the state any money.

    Ah. Well. I’m sorry I have to think of Bruce Caswell at all, and since I do, I think Bruce Caswell is a genuinely bad person.